


Halve Me

by ThingsThatFallDown



Category: Fracture me/Destroy me, Ignite Me - Fandom, Restore Me - Fandom, Shatter Me Series - Tahereh Mafi, Unravel Me - Fandom
Genre: Cuddles and kisses and nose boops, Explorers, F/F, F/M, Infertility, Kind of maybe some, Okay ye, You'll hate it I'm sorry, a little bit of smut, angsty, so much fluff you'll choke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14676855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThingsThatFallDown/pseuds/ThingsThatFallDown
Summary: So basically I read Restore Me and didn't like it nearly as much as the first three books, so this is a fanfic written in its stead. We start off with a bite of Warnette fluff and add a mysterious sickness slowly killing a few characters, add a bit of infertility, trips to the South American jungle etc etc and plenty of making out- you have yourself this written work right here.





	1. Feeling Blue

She's finally asleep.   
I slip out of bed carefully, so as not to jostle her. Her mouth is open a little, but thankfully, she doesn't move. I exhale deeply, padding out of the bedroom and quietly down the hall, leaving the door a little open in case she wakes up and wishes to know where I am.   
My head is at ease, my muscles jittery and aching from my hasty workout barely two hours ago. Juliette has been sick all this week, and not being able to properly touch her without nausea or migraines has kept me on my guard and built up a lot of energy inside. Apparently that workout wasn't enough though, because I can barely stand to just lie in bed for only as long as necessary before jumping up again and moving.   
I come to the infamous small courtyard, with the balcony at the edge, looking over the dull compound below where tomorrow hundreds of soldiers will stand to hear the next move for taking over not only Sector 45, but the world. My love is an ambitious creature, but I admire her need for action. She's a lot like me, now that I think of it. She's killed a few people, and finally let go of her anger. Admitted how much of her being nice to the world actually did for her. Juliette has finally convinced herself not to apologise, and I'm falling deeper in love with her every day. I can't imagine how little I must have felt her when I first admitted how I felt, compared to now that we are lovers. Everything is quiet.   
Something big is aching on the horizon.   
I force myself to look.   
Possible failure, death- and lots of it. Plenty of sadness and disappointment. It's going to be extremely ugly. But she knows. Juliette knows, now, after losing all of Omega point but eleven people. Severe depression, anxiety, and possible autism. I love her so much I can't breathe most of the time I'm with her. I'll admit I could be a little nicer to her friends, but that's what she's there for, definitely not me. I'm there to keep her strong and happy, not to control who she talks to or how she lives. That was the problem with Adam, who's now oddly my brother, which is a feat only my spectacular late father could have ever acheived. He and Adam share the same anger, the same controlling demeanour and obsessive possession. He would not let Juliette have her say in their relationship, and wanted only to-   
I grit my teeth, pulling my hands away from the icy rail I was gripping so hard my hands started to ache. Do not think of the past. He is your brother, how can you hate him when he reminds you so much of the father you tried so hard to get to love you? After all, I smile to myself. Juliette is all yours now. But the matter that she's so horribly sick is hammering on my brain. Delaleiu has been bringing medicine and lots of warm teas and beverages to sooth her stomach. I've been rubbing her back and making her as comfortable as possible in this God-forsaken place. It's not enough. She's assured me a thousand time that she's is not-   
I swallow hard, gripping the rail again. No. We're too careful to have a child. We've only been here for a month or so. We were planning to move a lot sooner, but then problems arose and James almost got himself killed training with Kenji and Juliette is sick-   
"Hey." Someone says behind me. I had sensed them there, of course I had. Kenji wanders over to me, his boots scratching on the dirty floor and skittering rocks in my direction. "Damn depressing, isn't it?" He leans on the rail next to me, gestures to the bleak world before us.   
I don't answer, and he doesn't expect me to. I can feel him taking in my rumpled button-down, half-tucked into my trousers without a belt. Thick grey socks on my feet.   
"How's J?"   
I sigh, dropping down onto my elbows, the metal biting into my forearms through my thin shirt. "Hurting. I finally got her to sleep just a few minutes ago." I consider the former soldier without looking at him; he's Juliette's best friend. She trusts him, and so should I. I admit, "I don't know what to do."   
"Well," he scratches his nose. "First off, get more medical attention than just your sulky Second."   
Irritated, I straighten, a few inches taller than him. "I have. Sonya and Sara have been tending to her often. Hell, even James visits her during lunch and dinner everyday. Nothing is working."   
"Second- and this is just a tip, I don't know, though," his tone drips with sudden sarcasm. I run through everything that could be helping her, and what I could have missed to make him so shirty. Come up with nothing, "Maybe check that she is actually asleep before you go off to lick your wounds and freeze your ass off out here."   
A small, angry noise sounds behind us and we both turn. Juliette is huddled in the door way, struggling to stay upright. She's wearing one of my discarded baby blue sweaters, and the hem hangs down to her bare knees. Her hair is scruffy and glides down her back. Her lips are blue.   
She looks so beautiful I want to kiss her right here.   
Instead I start forward, scooping her up despite her protests, and weak fists bashing at my chest in defiance. The trademark blush the creeps across her cheeks shows she's more embarrassed for my mothering her in front of Kenji than angry she was caught. I fight a smile when she eventually gives up, calling goodnight to Kenji who's laughing his head off. He waves back, and departs down the corridor to his "Head Quarters" that he shares with Winston and Brendan.   
I get her to our bedroom. My heart stops at the word our then slowly picks up again. I don't think the surprise will ever wear off in over a million years. "Aaron?"   
My heart stops again as Juliette squeaks at me from her hold against my chest. I lay her back down on the bed, gently smoothing her hair from her face. "Yes, love?" I murmur softly, knowing that small sounds and slow movement gets her to calm more easily. Indeed, her lids blink a little less rapidly and her lips are slowly going back to a more pinkish tone. I press a small kiss against them, feeling how cold they are, despite my being the one who was out in the cold for so long, as opposed to her. She smiles against my mouth, arching her back to reach me more easily.   
I pull away before she can wake fully and start hurting again. Juliette makes an indignant noise at my refusal, but I only smile a little at the colour returning to her cheeks and the gentle slope of her neck underneath my sweater. I tuck a tendril of her away from her throat, letting it drift onto the blanket under her small perfect body. Blue-green eyes give a tired caress as she falls asleep once more. This time, I make sure she is asleep by picking her up again. If Juliette were awake, she would no doubt take the advantage to kiss me again. Instead her head lolls on my shoulder.   
I slip her under the thick blankets, and my Juliette, my love, my life, sinks back to sleep.   
\-   
I wake up feeling no longer sick and aching and slow.   
I count one two three four all the way up to twenty, waiting for the pain to sink back in again. It doesn't.   
Excitement and relief bubbles in my chest as I roll over in bed, snuggling into Warner asleep next to me. His hair is in his eyes, and face is a little gaunt from his worry over me. I flush a little at how ridiculous everything must have seemed when he had to tell everyone we couldn't move out until his sick girlfriend got better. I reach out a warm hand, touching his face and tracing his hairline. He's still in his day clothes, a button down and slacks.   
Warner shifts a little, eyes fluttering open to look at me through his blond waves. "Juliette-" he whispers, beautiful green eyes glittering.   
"I'm better," I say, trying not to smile. I give up and feel the happiness stretch my mouth wide, and suddenly I want to cry. "I feel normal again, Aaron-"   
He lets out a husky laugh, the break in his voice stopping it short as he leans further over to plant a small kiss on my forehead. "Thank goodness," he breathes. Pulls back to look at me, calculating. His eyes roam over my face, my neck and hands. Puts his left palm against my jaw, cupping my cheek. "You feel warmer, too." Smiles. "You sure? No dizziness or headaches-"   
"No, Aaron." I grin, sitting up to lean over him. I feel even better than normal, actually, because now it doesn't hurt so much to move and now I can kiss the life out of him if I want to. I kiss his nose, his neck then his mouth. I feel him start to smile under my lips. I pull away, slipping out of bed and practically skipping to the bathroom.   
"Where are you going?"   
When I look back at him with the door half-closed, he's sitting up, a pillow in his lap and a crooked grin on his perfect face. "To shower," Scrunch up my nose. "I feel smelly."   
He laughs, a deep and ringing sound that I love so much I can't breathe. He blows me a kiss and I giggle, finally shutting the door behind me. "I'll be back, love." I hear him call as he opens the bedroom door and ducks out again.   
I twist on the shower knobs, giving my reflection a quick glance before I lose my nerve. My hair is lank on my shoulders and my skin a little too pale, but my eyes are bright and no longer dull with pain. I strip off my clothes and am scrubbing shampoo through my hair when the bathroom door opens again, admitting Warner in with an innocent smirk. I don't know whether I'm glad or embarrassed that the shower stall is nothing but glass.   
I swallow harshly at the way his gaze prowls over me, and pretend not to notice as he starts an easy stroll toward the stall. I rinse the syrupy soap from my hair, and let the water crack on the floor and slip along my back, turning my body so he can see. I hear the glass door open, and a whoosh of cold air falls in. I shudder, and Warner's warm fingers move my hair over my shoulder, and he delivers a lovely kiss to the soft spot behind my ear.   
I wish I were able to stop blushing but I don't think I can. "I've told Kenji and the others that you're better," he tells me against my skin. I watch the water from the shower head rain down onto my arms loudly. "They're quite eager to get moving. And to see you again."   
I smile happily at the thought, "They have been seeing me," I say.   
I feel him shrug behind me, careful not to let water get on his clothes. I start to grin at the thought of getting him wet. How unfortunate.   
"Not that much." Warner growls into my ear. His hand caresses my lower back, teasing. "They miss you."   
"Hmm," is all I say, a little distracted from the image of him drenched and his white cotton shirt made sadly see-through. His fingers run the path down my spine and suddenly I can't take it anymore.   
I spin around, throwing my arms along his shoulders and pulling him against me for a deep kiss. He gasps as my cold and wet body presses against his, but dismisses it as my hands thread through his perfect hair. He steps further into the shower, warm water now hitting my back and flicking onto his shoulders. Warner urges me against the tiled wall, and soon it's his brow knocking into the shower head and he grunts in annoyance, pulling back to rip it away. He ducks his head once more, kissing me once, twice, all over my chin and temples and collarbones. I'm drowning and it's not because of the water. My hands are pulling at the frustratingly tiny buttons on his shirt, ripping them open impatiently and my fingers clawing at his perfect skin. We're both hot and wet and kisses everywhere and I can barely breathe from his breath in my mouth and glorious muscle under my hands.   
With a throaty growl, Warner picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist, lips moving down my neck and tongue dabbing on my wet skin. He pulls a hand away from my hip to wrench off the water and we stumble out of the shower, slipping on the ground and giggling, snatching clumsy kisses until he presses me down on the warm, dry sheets.   
I'm gasping gasping for purchase in my lungs and he's everywhere and only here just here but I need him need him Warner breaks away, looking down at me from where he hovers over my body, arms on either side of my head to balance his weight and not squash me. His chest his heaving against mine, mouth red like he was coloured in by a toddler and the tones bled together. Water drips from his hair onto my nose, and slips down.   
He   
kisses   
it off   
my top lip. Kisses my bottom, too, for no particular reason but that he wants to. I reach a hand up to touch his mouth. The tip of his tongue dabs the pads of my fingers.   
I think I'm going cross eyed.   
He chuckles deeply, and I trace my fingers down his neck, stopping right   
over his heart. It thumps furiously against my hand. "Juliette," his voice is heart-breakingly quiet. His breath flickers like a soft flame in the dead night on my cheek.   
"Aaron." I bite my lip, wanting to kiss him all over again.   
Warner bends his neck, his forehead sitting against mine. We close our eyes and stay there a moment. "I love you."   
I strain my head, tipping back to press my mouth on his. "I love you, Aaron."


	2. Moving Out Like Soldiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving the Sector and beginning a better plan. This is when things build up to a slight simmer before boiling a little . . .

WARNER---  
We're all piled into tanks and trucks and moving out within four hours of getting out of bed. Delaleiu is driving. Kenji is sitting across from me, and Juliette is perched beside him, looking dead sexy in her gun-metal grey suit. Her hair is braided back- courtesy of Alia- and it frames her face in a perfect shape, bringing out the black in her lashes and freckles on her cheeks and nose. She looks tiny compared to Kenji, only 63 inches tall. I love every millimeter. Her shoulders are thrown back and her spine is straight, despite how uncomfortable it is to be in here. Though Juliette may certainly seem better, there's no guarantee this weird sickness won't come back. I had spoken to the Girls and James and my Second plenty of times, but none of them recognise the symptoms.   
Bone cold skin, aching cramps and feeling one hundred pounds heavier. She was hardly dizzy or sleepy, and being a hundred percent aware of the pain was definitely worse than being in and out of consciousness. She didn't sweat, or feel hot- she knew she was cold. Her bones didn't ache, but her muscles would move at an extremely slow rate.   
"Aaron?" she mouths to me. Her head is cocked in concern, unsure. I give her a tired smile. Clear my throat.   
Kenji looks up from his Walkie-Talkie, catching my eye with drawn brows. "The others are right behind us," he says. We already knew that.   
Juliette frowns at his complicated complexion, "But . . .?"   
The ex-soldier shakes his head. "Castle's coming down with something." Shrugs. "Alia says he's super cold and can't sit upright anymore."   
Immediately, Juliette and I lock gazes, and without a word between us we understand what the other says. She stands up, moving over to the driver's seat. Whispers something to Delaleiu and soon we're stopping the truck, and I stand up to shove open the back door. Kenji and I hop out, and I turn to offer a hand to Juliette. She sticks her tongue out at me, and instead lands neatly on the ground without my help. I stick my tongue back at her. Kenji rolls his eyes, and we all start toward the truck immediately behind us. I radio Delaleui to tell him this will only take a moment.   
The others are surprised when we bang on their back door and then let us in. Alia, Adam, James and Castle all look toward us. A moment later we're joined by Lily, Ian, and the Girls. I kneel down in front Castle, who has been placed on the cold floor so as not to tip off the bench onto the floor and hurt himself. I put the back of my hand to his forehead- it's freezing. As cold as rain coming right from the sky. Much worse than Juliette.   
"What's wrong with him?" James asks nervously. I sit back on my heels, beckon James over. He stands beside me, and bends down to touch Castle where I did before. He flinches at the contact. "Cold."   
I nod. Juliette explains, "When I was sick, I felt really cold. Like, everywhere. And it was like I had put on a hundred pounds of weight, and I couldn't control my body anymore."   
Ian Sanchez speaks up, "He's unconscious?"   
James looks to me for confirmation. He can often feel where other people are hurt and know how to fix it, but he hasn't learned properly how to project his powers like the Girls. I can feel Castle's energy on the edge between sleep and waking. "Not really," I murmur. I stand back up again. "Whatever this is, it can't be a coincidence."   
"How do we stop it?" Sara asks.   
"We don't know," Juliette says. "We thought maybe you two, or James might have an idea, but so far I just woke up this morning and felt fine. Like I had never been sick at all."   
Adam speaks up, leaning against the wall next to quiet Alia, "Well, he's not gonna die, is he?"   
"I don't know," I admit. "Juliette's symptoms didn't get worse or better, they just started and stopped."   
"Not really," Juliette reasons. "When you and Kenji were on the balcony last night, I could feel my muscles like from a distance. They practically moved of their own accord, and that's how I walked over to you guys." She shudders, looking uncomfortable. I reach out and thread her fingers through mine. "It was like . . . like I was dead, and seeing my body from above, or something."   
My throat ceases breathing and Juliette feels me tense. Her fingers squeeze mine. Alive alive alive alive alive   
"Damn," Ian says.   
"That's so messed up," Kenji adds.   
Sonya speaks up, "We looked over you so much, Juliette, but there wasn't anything that worked. If we knew anything . . . "   
My love gives her a gentle smile, "It's okay, we're not blaming you. You did so much for me," she looks at tiny James, with my blonde hair, and the twins with their matching faces. "All of you,"   
"So we just wait." Adam cuts it with an impatient sigh.   
Irritated with him but unwilling to show it, I answer smoothly, "Castle is colder than Juliette ever was, and it must hurt enough for him to almost be unconscious. He's worse than her, so there's no telling how long." I exchange a look with Juliette, still holding my hand. "Longer than a week, though."   
Lily crouches down beside Castle in the tiny space, pulling a few locks of the man's hair from across his chest to his shoulder. He makes a groaning noise. "Delaleiu brought her tea, right?" she nods to the truck in front of us, keeping her eyes on Juliette and I. We both confirm. "So that's what we'll do. Whether it makes him better, or worse, we'll never know until it hits the rest of us, and maybe we can risk enough to experiment. But he will get better, just like her." It's then I notice the fear in her eyes. Fear for the man's life, who probably took her in and cared deeply for her when she needed it most. Respect, and love, for Castle, is what we have here in this military truck. "He'll get better." She says again.   
"Let's switch drivers," Juliette says. "Sonya and James will stay here, but Delaleiu will drive this truck so he can be here in case anything happens, too. Radio us about anything." No one objects. None of us know anything about this sickness, and we don't want to make things any worse than they are by making stupid decisions. Best to play it safe, and only safe. 

JULIETTE---  
Our new driver is one of Warner's soldiers.   
His name is Lachie, and he smiles a lot. Keeps shaking his head in disbelief, "I can't believe I'm meeting you, Commander," he says to me. "This is so insane. You saved so many lives," He has mousy brown hair and a cow lick on one side at the front, so it spikes outward and gives his sharp face a soft look. His skin is very tan, and has a long neck. He flashes white teeth at me. He does that a lot.   
Warner looks a little surly.   
I give him a sly smile as Lachie chats on about something. Warner rolls his eyes, and stays where he is, but I can see how tense he is through the tightened jaw and sharp eyes. I doubt I would have been able to pick out these things a few months ago about him, but now I know his face better than my own. Hopefully tonight we'll be able to make up for all the kisses we didn't share through this week.   
I flush at the thought, and look away quickly. Warner notices and a ghost of a smile plays on his mouth.   
Kenji mutters something like "Kill me".   
I blush harder.   
I'll be dead before we even get to the port.   
"Commander?"   
I snap my head up, clear my throat awkwardly. "Yes, Lachie?"   
"Oh, I was just wondering what exactly we're doing?"   
A tricky question, as only the Omega point survivours, Warner and Delalieu are supposed to know. Too much risk in everything going wrong if too many people know, and word gets out about our moving.   
Warner and I exchange a look, and then Kenji and I.   
I turn guiltily back to Lachie, watching me through the front mirror. "Sorry, we can't risk too many people knowing." I explain. "It's better if we focused on the plan ourselves so it can go smoothly."   
Lachie shrugs, and gives me an apologetic smile. "Just wondering, Commander."   
We spend the rest of the drive to the port in silence. Well, except for Lachie, who continues chatting a little one-sided to me, because Kenji and Warner intimidate him. 

WARNER---  
Everyone meets on the edge of the decks, before Keni, Juliette and I assign everyone to their own posts. James will stay with Castle, and we're all secretly glad that we don't have to fight him for it. After all, as a healer he can practice on Castle, whereas if James' electrum was more like fire-breathing or something, he would have fought us for not letting him come with to stand post.   
We all hurry to our positions so as not to draw too much attention. Meanwhile, Juliette and Kenji go off to oversee soldiers being piled into one of my father's cargo ships. Two hundred of them are staying behind to look after the base and guard the civilians, to Juliette's insistence.   
We're all surprisingly good at agreeing when taking over the world together.   
I'm speaking quietly with Ian and one of my leading soldiers, when Juliette approaches me before leaving with Kenji. I give her a gentle smile, and she waits while I finish giving orders to the two men. Once they leave, Juliette takes my hand, slips off my glove, and presses a small kiss to the backs of my cold fingers. My breath catches painfully in my throat at the sizzle of delicious energy that runs from her mouth to my skin, while my heart picks up furiously at Juliette touching her mouth to my hand. If this had happened five months ago, I would have pinched myself to wake up from the nightmare I was having. Because I had accepted Juliette may never love me, but she could care. I knew she could. But now, after kissing her everywhere within reach and then some, I know she does care, deeply. I know she loves me. How, I haven't a clue. I am no different than I was when she first met me, but perhaps a little more kind to her companions, and a little less patient with showing how much I love her.   
"Good luck," she whispers, straightening again.   
It only takes a moment to catch her eye, before I'm wrapping her against my chest. I close my eyes, and press my mouth to her hair. I block out everything except her, like I have done a thousand- no, a million times before. When she walks into a room, her cheeks a little red from her shower and hair thick and wet down her back. When she smiles and everything is a thousand times brighter, more beautiful that it ever was. When she kisses me or touches my elbow as she passes or falls heavily asleep in my arms every night, I know.   
I know she loves me.   
"Be safe." I whisper back.   
"I love you."   
I think I'm dying.   
"I love you, Juliette."   
We break apart, and she gives one last brilliant smile before taking Kenji's hand and vanishing.   
We won't be sleeping for many nights, now. Everything has to go to plan or else the world will go to hell, and I'll lose her forever. I'm selfish, I know that. I've told her that constantly. But all I need, is her. All I want is her.   
I feel the invisible auras dash away quickly from us, spreading apart as they slip around people and weave through soldiers. I watch her energy fade away into the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah sorry so I totally forgot to mention the switch between Juliette and Warner but eh I made it more clear this time sorry!! I tend to keep things pretty minimal and spicey so I added an extra part on the end in Warner's perspective because it seemd pretty short, so . . . yeah. Thanks for reading! And any comments are totally appreciated- I love to hear from you guys :D


	3. Nightmares and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliette has a nightmare that leads into . . . uh . . . some vaguely descriptive conclusions which I'm sure I can leave up to you guys to think more about, and Warner is stuck talking to the Gang about uncomfortable (tm) stuff when he doesn't want to.

JULIETTE---  
I can't think.  
The blackness is sinking so heavily on my eyes I can't open them. It licks its way down my throat settling like an iron weight in my throat.  
My body is non-existent, and there  
it is  
again.  
Two shots straight in the head  
one for Adam  
one for him  
James will never understand why I did it  
but I hope he does some day  
Warner's blood Warner's heart sitting on a glass table in the middle of the room, alive and beating  
his blonde hair dyed red from blood his blood in his hair his blond blond hair  
someone took his shoes where are they where are they I need to find them  
Hands around my throat and shaking me they loosen only to tighten even more more more pushing me against the wall until I'm silently screaming, kicking until he breaks my knee caps and I can't think I can no longer think anymore  
"JULIETTE."  
Gasping I'm gasping and sitting upright but something is holding me back and I thrash I can't stay here can't stay here  
"Shh, love, I'm here you're awake- you're alive, I'm here, Juliette."  
And he's holding me to his chest and I'm shaking so bad I can't feel my arms. He keeps telling me I'm alive alive and he's here.  
He's here.  
Alive.  
I take a shuddering breath and let it out slowly so slowly. My throat is a desert sand box tipped into my chest. "Water," I rasp.  
He pulls away a little, propping my head into the crook of his shoulder and I hear the chattering of water falling into a glass. He puts it against my mouth and I manage a few swallows before coughing up my respiratory system. Warner is rubbing my back, and kissing my head my cheeks my nose. I take a bigger gulp of water, then fall back into his body, exhausted.  
We've been at sea for three days, and I haven't had a nightmare since before I was sick.  
Warner is already putting a hand on my forehead, and breathing out a sigh of relief, "You're overheating."  
Thank goodness.  
He pulls my hair back from my face and neck and lays us back down, carefully. The bed is small, only a twin, but we fit perfectly. My front is pressed to his chest, my head resting under his chin His arms wrap around my waist, holding me together before these cardboard fixes that make my chest fall away and leave me exposed to the elements.  
I can't sleep.  
He hums softly to me, a lovely tune he sings whenever I can't stop shaking.  
My voice is wobbly and small, "Aaron?"  
He answers instantly, "Yes, love. I'm here."  
I sigh into his heart. Slip my hands up to rest between us and try to stop their jittering. I open my palms to us, showing how they move. "It won't stop." I don't know if my voice is scared or accusatory. Probably both.  
Warner removes his hands from around my middle, and clasps mine between his. Long, elegant fingers covering my own. "Look at me."  
I move my head back, watching the way his bright eyes darken at night, his bottom lip fuller than the top that tightens when he's worried or in pain. Fair hair that has the right amount of wave to it, and slips to the side when lying on his side of the bed. The jagged curve of a wide jawline, high cheekbones and marble skin perfectly tanned to make his throat. He usually wears a long-sleeved grey wool shirt to bed, and flannel pyjama bottoms. But after falling asleep coming back from so many meetings and check ups, patrolling and post rounds, he fell asleep beside me in his clothes again, minus shoes and jacket and belt.  
I myself have taken to wearing his lovely sweaters, and plain boxer shorts that went from his to mine in a short space of time. I don't think either of us mind that much.  
"Hi," is all I manage to squeak.  
His eyes soften, lips pulling into a gorgeous smile. "Hello." Nuzzles into my shoulder. I let out a steady breath. "Better?" he asks mildly.  
Okay,  
&  
now  
I have  
to kiss  
him.  
I grab his face and pull his mouth on mine, happy when he immediately obliges to kiss me back. "Hmmfumphshujah," I say back. He chuckles, body vibrating against my own.  
Soon, I'm pulling at his shirt buttons and he's leaning over me, presses soft kisses all over my face. "Juliette, Juliette," He won't stop saying my name. I stop him with another deep kiss, and Warner shuts up immediately. I slip his shirt of his shoulders, my hands cupping his shoulders and tugging him further on top of me. He makes a deep grumbling noise at the base of his throat as I run my fingers down his torso lightly  
so  
lightly  
I'm gasping gasping and he's nuzzling into my neck, strong body hovering above me and strong hands stripping off my shirt. We both know the amount of times I have experience with this can be counted on one hand, but Warner is still willing to let me when I reach down and flick the zip on his trousers. He sucks in a breath.  
"You know," I try to hide my wheeze when I speak but I don't think it works very well. "You would look incredible in suspenders instead of a belt."  
"Suspenders?" he muses darkly, nibbling my jaw. "Where'd you get that idea?"  
His hands slip between us to touch my belly, stroking my ribs and making my back arch further into him.  
"I- I read a lot . . . Castle has lent me his person- per- personal collection." Warner's eyes are as dark as the skin of the sea under a storm because he knows he knows what he does to me. A little too well. I struggle to continue while his expert fingers trace the sensitive skin at the top of my right thigh underneath the waist of my boxes. "There's this character called . . . Doctor Who-"  
"Hmm?" his hair brushes my collarbone while he dips his head to press a kiss to my left shoulder, then my right. My hands spring into his hair without thinking and I can't breathe can't breathe  
The rest of my thoughts are zapped by my Warner radar as he strips off my boxers and kisses away everything everything  
my doubts  
my faults  
my hate  
my love  
everything everything is so just purely  
this.

WARNER---  
Delaleiu wanders into the make-shift conference room where I sit with my highest ranking soldiers, Winston, Lily, Alia, Brendan and James who sneaked in before the door could close and lock him out.  
My Second casts a confused look to my young half-brother, but I just nod at him to continue. "Forgive me, sir. Madam Commander wanted me for . . . uh . . . matters."  
I frown, and make a mental note to ask her about it when I see her again, probably at lunch in two hours. Then my mind is clouded by the memory of her flushed face and soft skin, the way she laughs as I kiss her lower back and can't stand it when my fingers trail the back of her thighs before leaning in to  
I shake myself mentally, shift in my chair partially to gain more ground on the present moment but also to check nothing has made a surprise guest appearance after thinking about what happened last night to make me so tired. Clear my throat loudly for everyone's attention.  
"We-"  
"Have we been spotted?" James interrupts.  
A little impatient, I answer quickly instead of ordering him out. After all, it's his own fault for being in here, not mine. Also, Juliette wants me to be kinder and more friendly to her companions, especially a ten-year-old who is not only the younger brother of Juliette's ex-boyfriend, but also my half-brother. Not that he know, of course-The brother bit, not the ex-boyfriend. Everyone in the entire damned galactic hemisphere knows about how Kent screamed and swore at Juliette during a difficult time for her, after believing that the entirety of her newly-made friendship group had been killed in a bombing by none other than my father. Kent is a little better now, though not on looking after James instead more on not being such an ass. He's getting there. But not so much progress has been made that he can keep his brother out of everyone else's business, though you can't blame the child for being curious and wanting to know if we're all going to die in a few days or not. But Juliette and I are not making any promises. After all, it's only been a few weeks since she decided to take over the world singlehandedly. "No."  
"Oh." James sinks back into his chair. I'm guessing the girls are looking over Castle, if he's not there.  
I start again, "We have a plan, but it's going to need a lot of arguing."  
"How else are we going to plan stuff?" Winston deadpans, leaning back in his chair with both hands folded behind his head.  
Delaleiu's pager sings just as Winston finishes. My Second stands up, whispering to me that Juliette requires him. I wave him away, but not before telling him to tell me what she wants- if, and when, he returns.  
"Where's Juliette?" James says quickly. "Is she okay?"  
I don't even bother to wonder how he knew it was her calling him. Probably because she is the only one Delaleui would inform me about her summons in such a critical moment. "She's with Kenji." I say, because that's about as much as I want him, or anyone else in this room to know. Yet as Delaleiu is leaving, he steps aside to let Kenji past who takes a heavy seat beside James. The boy then fixes a firm look on me, and I already know what he's saying before he says it. It's too hard not to know. "Kishimoto, if you could escort Mr Kent back to his brother, on level one. Come back immediately, and make sure he does not follow."  
Kenji frowns at me, but thankfully just hauls James up from his seat and marches him out, not even flinching at James' cries of protest and smacks at the hand holding him.  
" IS she okay? Not sick?" Winston says suspiciously when the door shuts again.  
"No." I say firmly. "Now, the plan-"  
"What if it's coming back?" Brendan presses. "What if she's getting worse- the sickness? Will this happen to Castle too?"  
I resist an angry sigh of exasperation as I open my mouth to answer, "Please-"  
Lily suddenly jerks up in her seat, horrified, "Are you doing this?"  
"No." I say firmly and a little too coldly, though I understand a little too much how they could have jumped to such a conclusion about a so-called monster such as I. Unlike Juliette, their image of me hasn't changed much since I was regent of Sector 45- which I still am, but now my control has spread to someone else as well. And currently, this someone else is throwing up in the bathroom and threw an entire chair at me the fourth time I came to help her (She prefers Delaleui for reasons beyond me). "She is in pain, but she's fine." I don't want to look to the only person in the room who may understand, and also not hate me, but I do anyway. My eyes meet Alia's and I swallow harshly.  
She doesn't meet my gaze, frowning at the table.  
"Why are you looking at her?" Lily snaps.  
I sigh. Clearly these dip-sticks won't get there without help, so I'll just have to put it straight. Straighter than Hugh Grant measuring his suit jackets with a metre-ruler. "Despite our physical relationship, Juliette is clinically unable to conceive. She has been having tests done by Delaleiu and the Girls which unfortunately require them to take samples of her blood and other . . . necessities." I touch my top lip with my tongue, "This means she gets cramps from medicines and also her body rejecting most treatments."  
Silence.  
Kenji comes back in, greeted with a heavy and awkward gathering. "Damn Warner, you dying?"  
Finally, the least-likely person to speak in this situation, speaks "You two want children?" and Lily blushes deeply as she says it.  
I shake my head. "It's not ideal in the current circumstances, but yes. We do hope for a family one day."  
"How did you figure this out, though?" Brendan pipes up. Winston elbows him in the ribs harshly.  
"What the hell is going on?" Kenji puts in mildly.  
I pause a moment, wanting nothing more than to stand up and walk out, leaving this to my Second, or even Juliette herself to talk about pregnancy and babies and things. Especially OUR pregnancy and babies and things. If I were capable of blushing for anyone other than Juliette herself, I would probably have singed a hole through my hair by now. Luckily, sporting daddy issues and having murder in your job contract restricts your abilities to be embarrassed or ashamed.  
"So she's not pregnant?" Brendan swallows. Winston wacks him again.  
Kenji splutters, "What?"  
I rub my eyes with the two fingers of my left hand. "The current situation involves surprising South America and earning their favour. This will not work, as surprise attacks are never welcomed in such an ancient people, especially from a teenage girl claiming to take the world as her own, with her . . . . band of misfits." I cast a pointed look at Kenji. He snorts, but still looks shaken despite the change of subject. "Instead we will send a messenger- I immediately thought Delaleui because he is the LEAST threatening out of all us, but due to recent changes to their government, they have granted their leader as female who will only listen to fellow females.  
"This means that Juliette, Alia and Lily will go together." As I say their names, they both straighten, and size me up. "Remember to be polite," I say to Lily, who snorts, "And to be brave," I say to Alia. She only bows her head and fiddles with a hairband around her wrist. I can feel how nervous but excited she is- and how grateful. I had originally wanted to just send Juliette, because she is more than capable of handling herself, but she had insisted back up to not feel so alone.  
"You do remember being shot by my father, yes?" I had pointed out to her, "And yet you not only overpowered him, but also took control of his entire sector."  
She had flushed, but said "I need them," and that was that.  
"What do you want us to do?" Lily asks me.  
"Talk to Juliette," is all I say. After all, she needs some independence as I'm still handling most paperwork and looking over daily progress. She likes having things to do and important missions to run. She told me she felt like a spy, or something. I try not to smile at the memory. "She'll be at lunch."  
The rest of the meeting goes on with discussing rations, progress, patrolling and arguments. I try not to show how my hands shake when Kenji points out the girls could very well die upon greeting.  
I know that. She knows that. But we need to step forward and this is the only direction we can take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate any readers, however few you guys are!! :) and I'm pretty new to this site so please don't think too much- just keep your expectations low. Lower than that. A little more. Thaaaaaat's it.   
> Smut will pick up, I promise, but for now we're gonna keep it minimal until Warner gets impatient and demands spotlight so . . . yeah. Um. Thank you very very terribly much for reading!! And *the highest of praise* to Tahereh Mafi for the original book series (these characters are not mine!!) she is simply awesome :D (p.s I absolutely love writing banter scenes, so there are probably gonna be a lot, but I did promise nose-boops so just wait until the next chapter!)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliette smacks Warner, Delaleui is a gorgeous human being and Kenji is giving out rewards for bad behaviour, basically. Oh, and Adam and Alia is touched on a little, but not too much . . .

JULIETTE ---   
Lily and Alia both sit with me at lunch, to my surprise. Looking over the thin yet large dining hall, Warner is seated with a grumpy-looking Kenji, and is talking to him a little impatiently with a lot of hand gestures. I want to know what they're saying, but it would be a little rude and strange if I just stood up suddenly and left Alia and Lily behind. I'll ask either of them later. Warner will most likely tell me, if not reluctantly, whereas Kenji will sneer and say to mind my own business. That is, until I complained enough to irritate it out of him. I'm very good at complaining, apparently.   
I woke up this morning barely able to move, and Delaleiu finally came to give me something for it after Warner found me crying on the bathroom floor for the third time. The tests Delaleiu and the Girls have been running are not exactly fun-   
Mentally, I shut myself up.   
I don't want to talk about it. So instead I study the people in front of me, the way Lily's hair is tucked behind her ear, one side shaved and the other dyed a deep electric blue. How she managed, I have no idea. Resources aren't exactly high at this point, let alone luxuries like hair dyes or make up. I see the snake of a tatto crawl along her collarbone, one that I've never noticed before. She moves to pull the neck of her sweater further up her collarbone and I glance away. The soldiers sitting around us are dutifully ignoring our little trio, and I'm grateful for the privacy. This doesn't seem like something to be shared with everyone, or to speculate rumours.   
Lily is staring at me. Alia won't look, so I face the girl who is looking, "Is everything okay? Did Warner explain?" They don't answer. I take that as a bad sign, and I go on guiltily, "I'm sorry I couldn't be there this morning. I had a meeting with Delaleiu-"   
"He told us. About your infertility." Lily deadpans.   
I feel the blood under my skin freeze, chugging slowly and stiffly through my thin arteries. Then I flush. "Oh." I'm not sure how I feel about that. "Why?"   
"It wasn't his fault," Alia cuts in suddenly. We both stare at her. She blushes and dips her head back down again, talking quietly to her hands. "We made him tell us. He didn't want to."   
"Oh," I say again. That's all I seem to be capable of saying, anyway.   
I don't have girlfriends- I never have had the chance to make friends. They always seemed to be running away. So now I'm not sure how to act around them, and my two closest friends now are Kenji and Warner- one I'm in love with and the other I barely tolerate sometimes. I'm not entirely certain which is which, though. It varies between them.   
Lily adds in earnestly, "If you wanna talk-"   
"I would rather not." I spurt.   
Did I just sound like Warner?   
A new voice walks toward us, "Madam . . .?" I turn and Delaleiu is standing at our table right behind me, looking nervous.   
I clear my throat. Hope I don't look like I've been flushing. "Yes, Delaleiu?"   
I'm suddenly glad that this horrible conversation was interrupted, and now I have something I can control. I'm suddenly aware of how soon it's been since I last saw Warner's- MY Second. Only half an hour ago he came to me; lying on the cold bathroom floor, arms wrapped around my knees to my chest as I groaned in pain. The way he looked at me, I knew he was pitying. While Warner would have become defensivein such a horrifying position, I just started to cry. I knew I couldn't page him because he was in a meeting that was fairly important, so Delaleiu was easily the next thing. The old man had wordlessly crouched next to me and helped me sit up, giving me painkillers and a warning to go slow from now on. By the tired glint in his eye, I knew he didn't just mean getting around the ship.   
I flush at the memory. Warner was gentle last night, as careful as he could be as opposed to our first time when everything was teeth and hands and feverish kisses. We've been able to match our moods and act accordingly, after a little and rare practise. Not that we talk about our physical love-life in great detail- it makes both of us equally uncomfortable.   
Yet a man like Delaleiu, who has had a daughter and then a grandson, understood perfectly. He re-stocked my necessities and gave me a heat pack to cry it out in bed for fifteen minutes.   
Then Kenji came to get me and we left together for lunch, only to have Warner ask to speak with him, then the girls who came to sit at my table demand to speak with me. I should probably blame Warner for telling everyone my personal problems, but then they're his almost as much as mine. And as Alia said, THEY had been the ones to weed it out of him. He's definitely not the type of person to run around, spurting how pathetic and small and lonely Juliette Ferrars really is.   
Warner is sentitive- even if 99% of people don't believe it.   
Delaleiu does not smile, "The Girls have come back with your tests and want you in their . . . uh . . . lab immediately." 'Lab' is a very, very loose term for where the twins do all their work. Unfortunately, given it's only been about a month since I took over Sector 45 and have been overloaded with paperwork and responsibility I would have never gotten through without my Second and Warner, we haven't got much the way resources go to in order to properly rule the world, so it's mostly DIY or BYO ideas at this stage. Or that's what Warner says anyway. The lab consists so far of a cleared-out infirmary on the second level, fixed with a makeshift medical-setting and benches to work with.   
I nod to Delaleui, and thank him before jumping up as politely, yet as quickly as possible. The girls bid goodbye as I leave after Delaleiu.   
I can't help but whack the back of Warner's skull as I go past. He jerks his head up in surprise. Gives me an eye roll as I walk out. I smile at Kenji's roar of laughter.   
We arrive at the lab, and Delaleiu nods his head to me, then backs out into the hall again to go back to whatever he does when he's not attending me or Warner. I realise I should definitely ask him, to see if I could maybe . . . tag along.   
It sounds lame even in my own head.   
But I like having things to do- especially if they stop me from doing things I should probably definitely be doing instead.   
Dismissing the idea, I walk inside the lab and run straight into the twins on their way out. They promptly slip their arms through mine and charge me backward in perfect synchronisation. We get back into the hall and they let me go so I can spin around to face them.   
"You wanted to see me?" I prompt.   
"Yes," Sonya agrees. "We have your test results back," Exchanges a look with her twin.   
Sara smoothes down the front of her labcoat, a slight smile on her mouth from my impatient look. "If you would like to hear about them. But we should wait."   
I kind of want to yell at them just to tell me, but I know that is definitely not the wisest idea. "Okay." I say cautiously. "Should Warner be here, too . . .?"   
"Oh," Sara begins, and exchanges a dark look with Sonya. "No. Castle should be, though."   
I frown. "Castle . . .?"   
Oh.   
~Oh~.   
I'd thought this was about my . . . condition. Not the weird sickness I just experienced. That's good too, of course it is. And now I feel guilty for worrying more about myself than my own friend. Warner would tell me not to apologise for being worried about the pains I'm experiencing, and that it's good to be worried, but I still feel horrible for not considering Castle in the slightest.   
I clear my throat awkwardly, "Yes, okay."   
I lead them to Castle's quarters, where he sleeps in his "office". Which is really just a bedroom without any beds, a desk instead, and some stools and things. But when I open the door, all his temporary decor has been shoved to one side, and Castle has been put in a small hospital bed at the corner of the smaller room. His eyes are closed, and face a little gaunt, just like mine still is.   
"Shouldn't he be in the infirmary?" I wonder aloud.   
Sara shrugs, "No point."   
"We still have no idea what is causing it," Sonya replies mournfully, "but it definitely has nothing to do with bacteria or germs. What we do know, though . . ." A quick look is exchanged between the Girls.   
"It's affecting that part in your body with electrum," Sara supplies, naming the thing inside all of us with 'abilities' that causes our energy to have supernatural tendencies. "Numbing it, I guess. Putting a gas mask over it. This is making the body," she gestures to Castle's prostrate form, "go into shock-mode as it tries to fix what has happened. This causes all the symptoms you had."   
"Great." I say. They don't look happy. "Not great," I correct.   
"We don't know what is causing it," Sonya says again. "So we don't know how to stop it."   
We stand there for a moment, thinking.   
"Positive thinking, my girls,"   
The three of us jump. Castle is awake, his brown eyes blinking wearily at us. The twins immediately set to work helping him sit up and fiddling with the tube in his wrist, connecting to the drip next to his bed.   
"How much did you hear?" I wonder.   
"I heard the moment the door opened,"   
is all he says. 

***

"Hey I found them," I say as Kenji piggy-backs me down the hall.   
"Found what?" When I had come back to the eating space after talking with Castle and the Girls, Kenji had offered himself to carry me down to the lower levels because of when I smacked Warner at lunch. He had said hitting Warner was something he dreamed of at night like other people dream of porn.   
I scruff his thick, black hair. "Your lobotomy scars."   
"Har-har,"   
We come into the training rooms, where I'm meeting Lily and Alia. The space is huge, wood floors and pale metal walls makes it freezing. I shudder a little against Kenji, and he dumps me onto a mat by the door. "Thanks," I say, standing back up.   
"Have fun, kid," he winks and leaves, whistling as he goes.   
"Oh, don't worry," I grin. "I will."   
He just rolls his eyes.   
Lily and Alia sit facing each other on the matt, talking and grinning. I wonder what they're saying.   
Then I mentally smack myself for not confronting Kenji about his meeting with Warner not half an hour ago.   
Lily is explaining something, using wide hand-gestures and Alia is giggling. And blushing.   
I smile. She's still shy, but at least she's smiling. I heard from a roaring James that Adam tried to talk to Alia several times, but she was never really interested.   
~Much too interested in someone else, it seems~ I note as I watch them a little longer from the other side of the room. Then I start toward them, picking up the weight from a pressbench, dully aware of the 120 pounds discs on either end. The linoleum is squeaky beneath my leather boots. The shoes are a prototype that Winston and Alia made before remaking the finished work. I can't wear the originals because unfortunately my suit, and the boots were destroyed weeks ago, and Winston and Alia are yet to complete a new set. I don't mind the wait, but Warner is a little shirty. He says he likes to unzip me before going to bed- even if we're just holding the other until they fall asleep. I swallow harshly from the memory of his accompanied smirk, and continue my long journey to the girls.   
"Glad you made it." Lily says to me.   
"Uh." I've never been good with other people's emotions, but luckily I have Kenji to teach me, who is easily overly-dramatic about pretty much everything so I don't have to try too hard to feel him out. Lily, though, is another story. We don't talk much, as I'm usually resigned to only Kenji, Delaleiu and Warner. Which leaves out about ten other people. "Yes. So am I."   
Ew. From her strained smile, clearly I could have worded that better.   
Alia clears her throat, then pats the space beside her. I sit, creating a triangle between us.   
"So." I start. "Uh, how've you guys been?"   
Alia gives a pleading look to Lily, who sighs loudly, flapping her lips like a horse. "Yeah, we all know you don't really care, Juliette."   
I take in a sharp breath.   
Alia shoots a look to Lily, who softens a little. Well, maybe a smidge. "What's the plan?" she says.   
"Well," I clasp my hands together, pulling the sleeves of my peacoat over my palms. The grey coat makes my skin look pasty and unnaturally white, like an oil painting. I'm wearing black jeans that don't help for my dull, pale features. "I guess I'll just start from the beginning." Deep breath. "The ancient people from South America have a Supreme Commander called Kalyca D' Maha. She's from a tribe called Carni, who take women in the highest regard. This means they'll only listen to women, which is why War- uh, we have been chosen by the head soldiers, regent and his Second, that we will be the ones to go." They nod, urging me to go on. "We're not sure if they'll accept us on sight, or we have to, like, give them gifts or stuff. So we're planning on offering them jewellery in respect, or something. It hopefully won't offend them, and maybe they have the same kind of love for accessories like us. Then they let us onto their lands, or on mutual ground, to speak with Commander D' Maha."   
They both agree with me, "And then . . .?" Lily prompts.   
"Then we talk alliances, and maybe a place to stay the night to earn their trust we don't wanna start, like, a war or something."   
"Which we don't?" And the way Alia says it so cautiously, like it's a question, makes me seriously think over my morals.   
"No." I tell her firmly. "Definitely not."   
"Awesome." Lily finishes. "When do we meet with them?"   
The pager on my hip flickers, signalling that Warner wants me in his office. "Six hours." I say. They flinch, probably hoping for a week in advance. But we don't have much time, Delaleiu and Warner had explained. We need to do this as soon as we get into a harbour. "I'll see you guys at dinner."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a rush and maybe I'm putting up too many chapters at once??? Idk I'm trying to wait but it physically pains me to wait a week like other writers before putting up another chapter because I love getting readers who like my writing and maybe want to read more??? My Tumblr is Thoughtsfromthementallyirritated and I post a lot of Star Wars and Raven Cycle and stuff, so you'll probably learn how lame I am which explains my writing anyway   
> Warner and Juliette need a little more of a personality, which was lcking in Restore Me which was just a Soap Opera and things got way too Out Of Hand (especially at the end) which was waaaay too much like Evernight (by Claudia Gray, who has awesome ideas but I found her boring and too overly dramatic and ridiculous, focusing more on the relationships instead of the ACTUAL PLOT okay this has turned into a rant but idk maybe this is just tipping you guys and warding you away from AWFUL writers but   
> So yeah thank you for reading!!! Any comments, kudos, suggestions are absolutely welcomed and worshipped so please stick with me!!!


	5. Warner Wears Suspenders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Title. Read the title, my friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these chapters are really short, but unfortunately being in yr Eleven means I actually have stuff to do :D Anyways I still wanna build on Warnette's relationship, and don't worry, I'm totally shipping Alia and Lily rather hard and this mission will totally be their chance to land smack BAM in the middle of some angsty OTP so get ready for chapter six but for now I'm just building it up.

WARNER---

"Are you okay?"

Is the first thing Juliette says when she walks into my large office on the lower floor. All the surfaces in this space are glossy and polished dark wood, with white shelves and hard floors. She shuts the black door behind her softly and I watch here where I stand beside a bookshelf, shuffling through files on South America. 

"You're- you're wearing suspenders." Her voice wobbles with something a little confusing- halfway between intimidation and surprise. 

"Yes," and I can't help but smile. She's blushing and trying not to stare. Clearly, the effect I have on her is easily expressed by the tension in the room and the widening of her aqua eyes. I gesture to my navy jacket hanging on the back of my chair. "Much more stylish than a belt." 

Juliette giggles, then comes around to my desk, and sits in my seat. It's not very comfortable- the black leather stiff and harsh on one's butt, as I ordered it brand new so as to not share the same seat as my late father. (As a red-herring side note, my love was the one to kill him.) But despite this, she makes it look quite good. Her hair is in a messy sort of braid that she must have done herself, from the way long wisps are falling out and it limps over her shoulder like a creature's tail. A few stray experimental plaits limp down in short, stubby strips down her exposed neck. It's so adorable it hurts. She picks up her legs and put her heels on top of the desk, one foot sitting on the other. My love smiles.   
Something in my sternum thuds and scrapes for purchase.   
I sigh out the feeling, and pull out the files I want.   
Turning around, I realise she had been staring at my ass. Juliette flushes rather deeply again and looks away. It takes some getting used to recognising how easily I can change her mood with a frown, or kiss or smile. And yet, to quote a band of musicians I'm a little partial too, especially when I was fifteen and went through a rock phase and music hadn't been banned yet by the Reestablishment; 'Well, I know when you're around, 'cause I know the sound, I know the sound of your heart.'   
No better way to describe this feeling. 

Indifferent, I slap the files on the desk and sit on the polished corner, facing her. "I've been doing a lot of research, and it seems that there are particular customs you must obey before facing Supreme Commander D' Maha." 

She nods, looking serious all of a sudden. I kind of want to kiss that frown right off her mouth. "Okay." 

"But before we get into all of that, I need to ask if you're alright." 

My love blinks in surprise, "Oh. Well." Shrugs. "Alia and Lily said they had forced it out of you- that you . . . didn't want to talk about it." 

That clenching in my chest releases considerably, and I suddenly feel a hell of a lot lighter. "I should have been firmer in telling them it was none of their business- that it's your choice to talk about it-" 

Juliette just shakes her head, "No, Aaron." 

My stomach flips when she says my name. Something about how she presses on the r and sighs on the en that makes me want to melt. It had started as an obsession, like a child and their science project, or their rock collection. I had wanted to ~know~ to be part of something that made my dying mother better. And ~I~ wanted to be the one to heal her. Juliette had just been a tool.   
But then I met her. mere   
And she was this lovely, strange creature who refused to do anything for the sake of her own morals. Not even bending to me. And it was when I saw her break through that Insulation Chamber that I truly, indefinitely fell for her. And it only got stronger. So strong I can't take it sometimes and I want nothing more than to pick her up and run away where no one can find her. No one can hurt her. She is permanently broken, what-with her parents wishing she were dead and they didn't care how. Naturally, I know a little of what that feels like, regarding a father who was the one who nearly killed me too many times, but it was never because I was different. It was because I had been weak. Juliette is anything but weak, I remind myself. I know she tells herself otherwise on a regular basis, and I know I probably won't ever be able to change that, but I can help her. I can teach her to have pride and not apologise for being ~quite~ extraordinary. I can show her how extraordinary she is. 

"What was your childhood like?" she asks suddenly. 

I flinch instinctively, and she sits up straight, pulling her knees against her chest so that she is small and fragile. I regret my reaction, and I certainly don't want to make her sad. 

"I'm sorry, love, but I don't think that's a story you need right now." 

"I want to know you." Juliette admits. "I hardly know anything about you, and I want to know." 

I sigh. "Sweetheart-" 

"Don't do that, Aaron." I almost miss the rest of what she says because I'm so focused on my name on her perfect mouth. "Don't brush it off, don't act like I deserve better than you. Because I don't. We deserve each other, and we deserve to ~know~ each other-" 

"Love," I stand up, and hand her the files from the desk. "Perhaps tonight, when we're not required to do things for other people." I give her a smile that I know will make her soften. Indeed, her eyes submit a subtle deep glow and her frown disappears. "You can ask me anything, then." 

She stands on her tiptoes, dusts her lips onto mine. I still have to bend down to reach her five-feet, two-inches. Being six-foot three makes casual kissing a little hard. Juliette doesn't seem to mind the difference, though, when she gets to thread her arms around my neck and pull me closer. 

"Well," a sly voice sounds. 

I curse mentally as Juliette rips away from me and stumbles back, both of us looking to Kenji leaning against the doorway like he's been there since the dawn of time. 

~How did he slip past my senses like that?~   
~Juliette~ I answer bemusedly. 

She brandishes the files and clears her throat loudly, flushing her infamous flush. I can't help but lean down to press my mouth on her left cheek. 

"Oh, please," Kenji groans. "I had to suffer through Adam and now you- it's a disease, I swear." 

I bid my love and her hound goodbye, and close the door behind them sharply. 

"Sir?" Delaleiu prompts where he had been hidden in the adjoining room, where boxes of my father's things are currently piled haphazardly. He's holding an aged piece of paper in his hand. I don't particularly want to know what it is. "You should look at this." 

Resisting the urge to twitch my eye, I take the paper from his hands   
and promptly scrunch it up, then walk to the black coffee still half-full sitting on my desk, and shove the paper in. 

Delaleiu gasps, "Sir-" 

"Childish, I know." I grumble. Then I hand the cup to him. "Deposit this so it never sees the light of the sun ever again, thank you." I walk out of my office and I don't look back. 

JULIETTE--- 

Kenji and I have barely reached the stairs before he's mumbling darkly and his footsteps are getting louder and louder with pressure.   
I stand this routine for maybe one flight before I snap, "Okay, out with it." 

"Can you just . . . just ~control~ yourselves, please? I've been through so much, you ~know~ I've been through so much, and I really don't need this-" 

"And the day you fall in love, I'll hate it too." I sigh. 

He snorts. "Yeah, well. Just don't be mean, okay." 

"What- like you?" I shoot back irritably. 

"Damn, kiddo." He laughs. Shoves a hand through his black hair. "Why you gotta hate, so bad? I thought you were all for everyone falling in love or whatever." 

"I am." I frown. "But you don't need to be horrible about it." 

"Whatever." He says again. 

We climb several more of the tiny flights, the ringing sounds of metal hitting our shoes making me remember a lot of the past few months. Hitting the floor of the van. Ripping through that door to get to Adam. Kissing kissing kissing Warner and shooting him one bullet through his arm- 

"Whoa, steady-" I stumble and Kenji reaches back to steady my shoulders. "You okay, man?" 

I shrug. "Just . . . thinking." 

"Hmm." He muses, then "Me too." 

"Really? What about?" 

He just shakes his head, and continues to clomp down the flight. "No way, you first." 

I sigh. "I was thinking about when I first met Warner- how much of a bully he was." 

"Psycho," Kenji agrees. "Insane, robotic, horrible-" 

"Yeah, okay." I interrupt. "No need to put in too much detail." 

"Dude, you don't even ~know~ him." 

"Where did all this come from?" I demand him, changing the subject. "Calling me man, and dude and whatever. What happened to J? Or princess?" 

He grins sheepishly. I narrow my eyes. "Gender equality," Is what he says without looking at me. "I don't know. Maybe you're just so flat-chested I thought you were a guy when I first saw you." 

Outraged, I find myself hissing at him, "I remember specifically the things you said when you first saw me. Wasn't it, 'Hey you're pretty sexy for a psycho chick?'" 

He waves a hand, "Ah, details, details," I step on the back of his shoe. He slips a couple of steps, yelping with surprise. Catches himself quickly on the railing. "Jerk," he growls. 

I smile. 

* * *

"You ready?" Lily says. 

I'm pulling on my gloves and making sure the fingers are tight. "No," I admit. 

"Good," Warner says behind me. I can feel his large body of heat right at my back, comforting me more than any gun or indestructible suit could ever offer. "If you aren't scared, then you aren't respectful of the circumstances. You three can't ruin this chance we have for an alliance- we need all the help we can get." 

"For ultimate world dominance." Winston adds. Brendan grins beside him. 

"Yes," Warner agrees. 

We're all in Warner's office, minus Castle and James. Alia, Lily and I are in these protective bullet-proof jackets and black trousers. We have brightly coloured beads strung through our hair and around our wrists to signify peace. My hair is still in a self-made mess. The sun is just setting outside, though we wouldn't know because of being in a large military cargo ship mostly under the water. We have docked in some place called Teresina along a river inside South America, at the very top-bit of the country.   
Sara touches my wrist, then pulls me into a hug. Sonya joins us, then Kenji, too, with an exasperated sigh. We all exchange hugs and salutes good bye.   
Then it's just Warner and I. 

He steps close to me, ducking his forehead to touch against my own. No one says anything. And then, "Be brave, love." 

No, ~Best wishes~ or ~be safe~ or even ~you don't have to do this~.   
Because there is no wishing, there is luck. And hope, too. Plenty of it. There is no safety in this, because we're on another people's land in someone else's country. And I have to do this. I have to I have to I have to. 

"Okay." 

And he lets me go, and I'm walking to the door. 

The air is very cold when we make our way outside, the wind poking little holes through my peacoat and making my skin shiver of its own accord. The skies are the skins of space, bruised with purple and blood stains that the sun left behind after a lovely tantrum because it didn't want to go to bed just yet. Stars haven't come out yet, and the air is empty and depressed with chill. My toes are already freezing. I curl my fingers inside my gloves and shove them deep in my coat pockets. The wind threads its icy fingers seductively through my hair, following the paths that Juliette followed mere hours ago.   
The metal grates under my feet give way to corrugated stairs, marching upward to the top deck. I hear mine and the girls' feet clang behind me as I lead them. The air leaves delicate kisses all over my cheeks, nose, neck and head. Everything is light and cold. The railing beside us gives way as I find myself squinting into the horizon. Forest spreads around me like a disease. I don't like closed in spaces. I like everything transluscent and if not honest, then easy to figure out. It's part of me, to be able to see everything about a person just by standing in the same room as them, or to have the forms about everything that has ever occurred even remotely related to it, or to at least have Delaleiu to tell me what I should know.  
That's what forests, or farms, or oceans or cities don't give me. They don't show me everything. And that scares me a great deal. But the one thing I discovered after being locked in a small space of my choosing in Omega Point for a little less than three weeks, was that I still had control. I could still take hold of the situation, and do it embarrassingly easily. I could still be in control. But my father frowned on that. On the easy way out. That was one of the reasons I didn't break out so instantly.  
The other reason, and ~only~ other reason, was Juliette.   
Her kisses her hair her ratty tennis shoes those three freckles like little stars right under her left eye her hands her feet her nose her pouting her grinning her frowning. Everything everything everything.  
There's nothing I don't want and she has everything I could ever want.  
Juliette is French, meaning "Youthful" and oh, even when I am bent and fading and dying just tomorrow, she will be here.  
She will be here.  
Lily, or maybe Alia, makes a small noise of satisfaction when they look out onto the nation of trees ahead. The tips of the fauna are dipped in the sauce of the bleeding sunset.   
I barely notice all of this, however, because I'm staring at Juliette.  
My brain is screaming. 

"Anything else we should know before they shoot us with poisoned spears or something?" Lily asks no one in particular. 

"Isn't that in Indiana Jones?" Kenji says behind us, clomping unnecessarily loudly up the steps. 

Lily frowns, looking deeply troubled. "I don't know." 

Juliette's scent of rainy days, book pages and soft skin wafts over to me. I want to lick her everywhere.  
Everywhere everywhere everywhere  
Someone claps their hand onto my shoulder and my gun is out of my inside pocket and against a forehead before I know who it is. 

"Whoa, chill!" 

Kenji is standing very still at the receiving end of my death shooter. I want to press onto the trigger, sliding the bullet into the chamber with a satisfying ~click~. I can feel him shaking slightly. I smile. 

"Aaron." 

I pull it away, and the Glock is snug against my ribs again, still warm from the heat of my torso. "Yes?" I provoke pleasantly. 

Juliette is trying not to smile, too. "I want him alive when we get back, please." 

"May I ask why?" 

"Wasn't it something like," Lily puts in, "Fattening him up to eat him?" 

Alia agrees in a small voice, "Ah, yes," 

Lily roars with laughter, then plants a small kiss on the other girls' cheek. Alia blushes, and their hands entertwine tightly together, standing as a strong wall that nothing can push back no matter which direction one chooses. 

And as the sun warms all of these tired, warrior eyes I give Juliette a wink  
just before the hurricane sirens begin to sound.  
The noise is deafening and horrible beyond imagine, rising up in a tidal wave of anxious screaming through the throats of an ancient people. 

It has begun.


	6. Lights Will Guide You Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, um, Juliette and her Band A La' Misfits venture forth into the unknown, while Warner faces some identity crises because he feels empty without his Jay-Jay, which is based off the stereotypical concept that girls rely way too much on boys for their own happiness so BOOM flipped that table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while to write because mostly I'm lazy but I also did a lot of research too, and if I got some stuff completely wrong I swear I'm just ignorant white trash Googling stuff at two in the morning, so yeah. I'm kind of building up the fluff between Lily/Alia, whose ship name should be Lalia, tbh. It's gonna get cuter- promise, with some definite smut on the way

JULIETTE---

Barely two feet into the trees and we're already soaked to the bones like a sponge in a bath.   
The girls are on either side of me, despite my insistence that they walk together in case anything happens to us.   
The jungle is like a sky full of stars at night.   
All these galaxies of rivers and paths of constellations leading us to places we can only see if we traveled there ourselves.   
The horns are getting louder, but there is still no sign of who is actually making those hideous sounds. Warner mentioned they were hurricane sirens. Though there are no hurricanes in sight, the horns are also used by the jungle people to sound at any foreigners approaching who looked dangerous enough to cause 

"Any tips on not dying?" Lily had asked Warner as we filed back down the stairs to reach the harbour, where a tiny boat would take us onto land. 

"Be respectful, and don't trust anything they say." 

I had frowned. "I don't know how we're supposed to do either of those things at the same time." 

"They are a very ancient and cunning people," he had went on, looking ahead at the sun. "If they want to be trusted, they will be trusted. If they choose to be offended, they will be defended. But they also love their loop holes, too. Take note of absolutely everything that you notice," he winked at me again, "and keep on your toes." 

Rustling sounds to our left. We all look at each other. "Stay still," Alia mouths. 

But I shake my head. "Keep going," 

So we do. Carefully. I'm wearing a fleece-lined heavy overcoat, but it doesn't keep out the chill. I can hear the beads we're all wearing clink with every shift we make.   
The shuffling grows louder.   
I make gesturing signs at Lily beside me, telling her to switch places. We side-step around, so that Lily is in the middle, and I'm nearest to the shuffling. I dip a hand into my pocket, finger on the hammer of a Glock.   
The wind shifts violently, and something steps on the back of my shoe.   
I'm whirling around, sticking the barrel of the hand gun at whatever is closest, when I hear a familiar yelp. 

"~Dude~," 

I start to laugh. 

Kenji appears at the end of my firearm, the mouth at his left shoulder. 

Lily hisses at him, "Don't ~do~ that," 

"Get back on the ship," I say. 

"No can do, J. I'm coming whether you like it or not." 

I haven't taken the gun away. "You do realise they will most likely ~kill you~ for not being female." 

He shrugs. "Then I tell them I'm with you ladies, and they'll soon learn to respect all of ~this~," he splays his hands and outlines his physique with flourish, "and not kill me." 

Lily snorts. "Doubt it." 

"Whatever," 

So we keep walking, because if any of us knows Kenji, he loves the drama of a good stowaway on a mission that could get him in the middle of bloody murder.   
I lose contact on my radio with Warner two miles into the jungle. 

"Where even are these people?" Kenji demands after a while. 

"Warner said they were a lot further inland, by this massive steel structure, or something." I clarify. 

"Unfortunately," Lily adds in front of him, "even a military ship can't cruise your lazy ass across six miles of marsh so that you don't have to get tired." She makes baby eyes at him, and he snorts. 

"And, congratulations Lils- I don't like you again." 

Alia makes an angry noise, and looks ready to thump his face into the nearest puddle. Lily simply puts her arm around the other girl's waist and pulls them ahead to walk together. I shoot an exasperated look at Kenji.   
He raises his dark eyebrows innocently.   
I don't say anything. Neither of us do. We trudge deeper into the jungle, the hurricane sirens growing ever louder the more steps we take. We follow the sounds. 

*** 

Night has truly fallen by the time we find ourselves even close to civilisation. The air is thick with rain and earthy scents, tickling my nose and making my toes curl inside my boots.   
Lily is the one who spots the first lamp. It's a ball made of twine, about half the size of a watermelon, and filled with bugs that must be on fire, or something. 

"Fireflies," Lily had breathed. "I didn't even know they were out here," 

"Rule number one," Kenji states, "Don't underestimate the locals." 

We keep walking along a seemingly random path marked with stumps of cleared trees on our left and right, until more lamps appear on our right side. We change directions, following the lights. Finally, the sirens are beginning to die down.   
Everything is like a story book when we're on a hard dirt path lined with stones engraved with markings and pictures. Tiny, deeply gouged lines into the blue and mauve stones marching neatly beside us. I want to look at every single one, but Kenji wraps his hand around my upper arm and pulls me forward.   
And then, it's like daylight has begun already. So much light, so much wonder and incredible curiosity my tiny brain can't keep up. The trees above us bend to encase us in an archway stuffed with fireflies, entwining branches so we can only see specks of the black sky. Several of the bugs land in the stray plaits of my hair, like little stars settling on my head. I can't bring myself to brush them away. I also tread carefully on the path to not step on any, yet none are even close to the ground. They all circle our movements, zipping in and out of those twine spheres. 

My radio crackles. 

I pull it out of the holster at my hip, seeing the screen has lit up. We have signal. I click on the top button, speaking into it, "We have reached signs of people, over,"   
I want to giggle at my use of radio-talk. 

Delaleiu speaks back to me. I had expected Warner, because I'm linked with his own radio, but he must be busy. "Received. Send in your co-ordinates, over,"   
I turn to Kenji, who does all the technical stuff, and speaks to Delaleiu about where we are and what we can see.   
THUMP.   
I flinch back, my hand touching the tip of my nose where something sliced it open a little before impaling itself into a tree right beside me. Everyone stops. 

"State your people," the accent is foreign, and female. Powerful. Controlled. It comes from my right, outside of the tree-arch that seems to go on forever. None of us look toward the voice, we all stay looking ahead. 

I want to squeak, but I force my voice to be steady as possible. "North American," I answer. Urge myself to continue, "We've come to represent Sector 45." 

"You're the child Commander and Regent." 

I shake my head. "That would be my . . . uh . . . companion." Kenji snickers. "I'm the Supreme Commander. Juliette Ferrars." 

A bark of laughter sounds, deeply amused, "The girl who took over that Sector and killed their Supreme. I hadn't believed it." 

A woman, very tall and dark and fit snaps into existence immediately in front of me. She has impossibly thick lips, dark gold eyes, and a face that could intimidate the skin off of an orange. I'm over an entire head shorter than her. I feel even smaller than that, though. "I thought that Anderson's son would be dead by now," she continues. "He was always a weak boy. Pretty, but weak. Maybe someone had taken his position." The woman cocks her head. "Clearly not." 

She wears a blood-red cape over leather straps that hold a very revealing outfit to her body. The woman sports impossible amounts of thin gold braces around her long, slender neck, and along her arms and ankles. What looks like liquid gold, is tattooed along her jawlines and cheeks, made of swirling patterns and symbols of beautiful stories and peoples. I want to blush, but I don't think that would make me entirely . . . professional.   
"No, no he's- uh, very much alive." I clear my throat awkwardly. I don't want to crane my neck to look up at her, but I crane my neck to look up at her. 

She chuckles. "Your lover, dear child?" 

"Something like that." I blurt awkwardly. 

"You have come to seek an alliance, Supreme child." Her dark eyes sweep over me and my friends skeptically. 

I want to bristle at being called such a thing- for the third time- but this woman looks positively timeless. She could be anywhere from eighteen, to a thousand years old. I wouldn't know where to begin. So I nod like a puppy offered treats, "To speak on peaceful and respectful terms with Supreme Commander D' Maha." 

"No." My heart falls on its face. "She is busy." And with that statement, the woman turns around to go wherever she needs to be. Before she vanishes, though, she tosses a look over her shoulder, "But it was good seeing you and your posse, dear girl. Now be off before our sirens explode your American brains."   
No one laughs. She walks off. 

I want to let her go, to find another way to meet D' Maha, but my vocal cords have other ideas, "Wait!" 

She doesn't stop. Keeps walking. I run after her. "~Please~," 

"What do you really want, child?" The woman spins around suddenly, and I have to catch myself before knocking into her. "What is it you seek from Kalyca?" 

It takes me a moment to recall who exactly that is, but then I remember. "We seek . . ." What did we seek? Not only an alliance, but respect, maybe- "Help. We need help from a stronger people." 

The female warrior frowns down at me. "You have great power inside." She lifts a gold-clad hand to press two fingers against my heart. We both feel it thump against her touch. "And sadness. And love." She sighs. "We do not offer help- we are quite reserved. There is no way you can simply-" 

"Mieka," a harsh tone cuts in. We both turn to see a new figure approaching from ahead. A motherly-looking version of this woman in front of me strides from nowhere down the firefly-lit path, hands clasped together and resting in front of her. "You do not make these decisions alone." Her tone is pleasant, but she looks anything but. "You let them talk with other people; people who actually care about what they want from us." 

"Ed," Mieka hisses. "Go back to Jaq-" 

"Do not patronise me, child. I could be your mother." This woman- or Ed, as Mieka called her- gives a gentle smile down to me. Her hair, unlike Mieka's, is woven with strips of brightly died grasses and strips of gold cloth. I get a little distracted fromstudying all the different colours of red, yellow, and green. "I am sorry for her trouble, she has no heart." 

The others all come to stand with me, Kenji at my side and the girls on my other, hands tightly held together. Kenji wonders, "Ah, she wasn't so bad-" 

"Quiet, boy." Mieka snaps. 

"Rude," he mumbles. 

Ed turns briskly to Mieka, a plastic smile on her ancient face, "Well, I do hope you have at least given them the Wifi password." 

"Wifi?" I wonder. It's a term I haven't heard since . . . well, history lessons, about the old world and how people interacted with each other and the information around them. "Aren't we . . . like, in the middle of a jungle, or something?" 

"If you mean National Park, then yes." 

"I am super confused," Kenji states. 

Ed gives a small smile, but continues, "This used to be the National Park of Teresina- the nineteenth largest city in the whole of Brazil. But then when the government started crumbling, everyone fled to somewhere that the politicians would never find them. That was decades ago, nearly a hundred years. The world has been dying for quite some time. Luckily, that gave free-reign for my people, a small but powerful people. Supreme Commanders were introduced, but our leader Jandre was very old when they appointed him, and his daughter had been missing for twenty-two years. Luckily enough," Ed and Mieka share a humourous glance. "Kalyca showed up only a month after his death. She was made Supreme Commander, and set up her base here, where the old and colourful ways of Brazil sing." Her tired eyes give me a lovely twinkle, "Now, this way. Kalyca has been dying to meet you." 

WARNER---

"Sir?" 

I don't look up. 

The tips of my left hand roll a pen underneath them on the desktop, and now and then pick it up to click the end. My feet won't stop tapping the ground. My right hand is gripping the arm of my chair, releasing and tightening, releasing and tightening. 

"Sir you need rest." 

"Who just arrived?" I cut in. I had been looking out the top deck an hour after Juliette and the others left. Kenji had happily agreed to go after them when I asked him to, and even made contact on my radio less than twenty minutes ago. Unfortunately, I had been showering at the time, and Delaleiu answered. This caused an awful lurch in my stomach, because I hadn't even been there when Juliette needed me. I hadn't expected them to find the Fire Path so quickly. My love is quite the leader, I think with a smile.   
While up on the deck, as I watched Kenji sprint after them, I saw smoke in the distance. And a fire out in the middle of the ocean isn't something that occurs all that often. There was only one reason for this: a steam ship. Heading straight for us. 

Delaleiu flushes, and I know he had planned on not telling me so that I would sleep. Something that would get one sacked, and quickly, but Delaleiu is a lot more worried about my health as a teenager than my duties as Regent. 

Teenager.   
Is that what I am? 

Nineteen is not old at all. I remember the last time I saw Eduarda, Mieka and Jaq. I had been fifteen, and finding every excuse I could to not be around Mieka, who was disturbingly interested in me. Eight months older, she should have had a little more control.   
It's not a memory I'm all that happy to recall.   
Ed had called me a child, and rightly so. That's all that I am to her- to everyone.   
Even to myself. I am nothing more. But it's not my age that makes me who I am. It's my brain. My heart.   
Therefore, I am a seventy-year-old bitter veteran waiting to die. And nothing more.   
That is all.   
Boring and cold and strange. Yes, all of those things. I wonder why Delaleiu hasn't killed me in my sleep yet. I wonder that every day. I wonder why Juliette is in love with me. I wonder why I haven't gone to bed yet, I'm wondering now. 

My Second wets his lips, "Lena. From London. She wishes to see the Commander." 

I sigh. Lena- an ex-girlfriend of mine. We dated when I was seventeen, but things were purely physical. She was just something to keep myself occupied, and everyone else happy. Including her.   
And I've never fallen in love before Juliette, so I'm not really sure how to tell Lena that I haven't "moved on".   
I have replaced her.   
With a much better, much kinder and lovelier and incredible creature than Lena. What a God-awful drama queen that girl had been.   
And now she's here, and I definitely need to meet her and get her out as soon as possible, because she's here for one reason, and one reason only-   
To meet Juliette, of course. 

* * *

"Warner, darling." 

I'm thinking about how much Lena has changed since we broke up, almost a year ago. Her thick blonde hair is pulled back tightly, and her British accent is just as smug as it has always been.   
Nothing. Nothing has changed.   
Juliette, however, has changed a great deal. Her body is less sickly and starved and unkempt than it had been the first time I saw her; dumped on a concrete floor, dry brown hair falling over her gaunt face, and the only thing alive about her was the horrific loathing in those eyes for me. And only me. Now, she is brighter, happier, smiles a lot more. Is more willing to do things, to explore. To live. She's put on weight and stopped wearing those tennis shoes, so that's a bonus for me, too, because she's more confident in choosing what to wear. Her style may not be as . . . uh, frivolous as mine, but at least she's comfortable and happy.   
But is she?   
I force my thoughts away from that dark place, where losing Juliette and seeing my father again are both lingering. I won't lose her, because that's not part of my plan. And I sure as hell won't ever see my father again, for that matter. To think less than three weeks ago I had both my parents, and now, neither of them. She had never really liked Lena, I remind myself. My mother knew that I never cared much for that girl, during the times when she was sane enough to understand what I talked to her about in that room. My childhood consisted of avoiding my father's punishment, and trying to keep my mother alive for as long as possible. Neither of those things worked.   
But you have Juliette, I remind myself. You have her. She has you.   
And that is all you need. And I need her now. 

~Do not go after her~. 

~You can't, you moron. Let her do this herself. And with the girls. And now Kenji. She doesn't need you.~ 

~She doesn't she doesn't she doesn't-~

I give Lena a tight smile. "You look well." 

"Oh? Do I? Because you-" her muddy eyes travel over me slowly. "Look well. Also." 

I want to walk away, but I can't leave her here in my office with my files sitting around, no matter how well-guarded they are. Lena may be dull, but she isn't totally incapable of stealing. "She's not here," I deadpan. Lean against my desk. 

Her smile drops, "Then where?" 

"I have utterly no reason to tell you." 

Lena steps closer, her shoes clipping on the hard wood. She must be five inches taller than my love. I don't really pay attention to how tall girls like Lena are, unless it's important, naturally, but Lena has certainly given another two inches to her height with a pair of black heels- hardly appropriate for a military ship. But then, she was never the practical type who thought ahead. This brings her to almost six foot.   
I've always loved the ridiculous height difference between Juliette and myself. It makes kissing her so much more worthwhile, because she has to hold on for dear life with her arms locked at the back of my neck to reach.   
I want to smile at the memories. I want to kiss Juliette so badly. I need her now. I need to get out of here. 

~And now I'm anxious~

I've grown out of my severe anxiety that I used to have when I was younger. It lasted for maybe five, almost six years before I learned to not feel at all. And suddenly it became so much easier to stick a bullet in someone else's living skull, and then go and make sure my laundry had been picked up on time. But my anxiety habits are kicking in now again, and I'm taking a small breath through my nose and I want to start stimming.   
When I first met her, it was hard not to notice that Juliette does it too. Stimming, that is. The fact that Juliette was even treated that way and that caused her to do it has always made me angry. And extremely sad. And then everything got an infinite amount worse when Juliette chose Kent and her entire life was blown up by my father. Literally. 

So no, unfortunately, I don't think I ever grew out of my depression, either. 

I'm better now, though. In these last five and a half months. Because worrying about someone other than myself has kept me more alert and caring, as opposed to numb and robotic, as Kenji likes to remind everyone. 

~Don't don't don't don't~ 

Stimming is something my father would dump me in a radiation field in the middle of the night for; to be isolated and lost . 

My brain is screaming at me to stop don't don't don't so help me   
The pointer finger of my left hand taps the desk under me.   
Just   
once. 

Lena notices it immediately. Of course she does. "I thought you grew out of that, Warner." Her tone is sweet, and curious. Her eyes are narrowed. "Am I making you upset? Is she in danger?" 

I stand up. "I have sent for a helicopter to take you back to Europe," I tell her. "It will arrive in two days. In the mean time, why don't you take a tour with a few of my soldiers?" 

She opens her mouth to talk back, but a knock on the door shoots holes through the tension in the room, and Delaleiu squeaks the door open. "Sir?" 

I don't speak immediately, instead thinking about how relieved I am to be interrupted. I'm no longer starting to stim.   
Musing over that fact, I recall that have never been that anxious for a very, very long time. Well, apart from when Juliette shot me, then ran away with Kent to start a rebellion no one but her actually wanted.   
So I pick the radio off the desk, checking Juliette's co-ordinates on the screen. She's made it to Braz, thank Heavens. "The heli?" I prompt my Second without looking at either beings in the room with me. 

"They confirmed your request." He hesitates, something I can tell by the way his voice pitches at the end, like an unsure fact. 

"What else, Delaleiu?" 

"Ms Lena's room is ready for her," he says instead. 

Lena shoots my radio a glance, then clip-clops out. 

 

JULIETTE ---

"~Hooo-ooo-ly~ shit." Kenji remarks. 

Ed sends him a dark look. "This way, children," 

Personally, I agree with Kenji. 

Before us is what must have been an amazing city. Skyscrapers and streets and apartments and parks and bakeries and schools and ~everything~. Now, it's a forest of abandoned buildings. Vines creep everywhere from the massive National Park, snaking and squeezing everything they can clamber over. Coming out of the trees, we're standing on a crest that must have been where tourists took their photos. The paved streets are ripped up and cracked to pieces from decades of disuse. The only thing I can't see, are any cars. Because in all the books I've read, deserted towns always had them everywhere for the hero to use at their own expense. I remember when I escaped Sector 45 and had to steal a car in order to move a dying Adam into a safer area, then find Kenji and James who were waiting for us so we could go to wherever Kenji directed us to, which turned out to be Omega Point. Cars are tricky, and I have no desire to ever drive one ever again, but I thought that such a sprawling capital like this would be littered with them.   
Not a single one.   
It's confusing. And eerie.   
Everything is charcoal grey- the buildings, the sky, my vision. I imagine I'd barely see much if it weren't for the full moon waving at us like a laser point in the Earth's ceiling. 

Kenji turns to Ed, who gives him a tired look. "This way," is all she says, and we start down the crest.


	7. Stone stories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit goes down and character development goes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah so I'm really crap at languages and culture and stuff (which probably has to do with the fact that I'm Australian and both of those things are extremely lazy and confusing) but I did Google a lot of stuff and if you want to correct me in the comments I encourage you 100% :D   
> Anyway so this chapter is warming up and I tried to dumb down the Lalia fluff but idk if it worked or not . . .   
> One of the things I hated in Restore Me was just how much Tahereh panicked about the fact that we know pretty much zilch about Warner other than his scars and his parents. So I'm just trying to introduce everything nicely instead of the whole "freaking out thing" that Juliette does. I like the mystery, but it's also unnecessary for character development :(

WARNER--- 

In the morning, I would rather I was dead. 

I'm scrubbing the thick shampoo across my scalp quickly; silently telling myself that it's fine to be worried. It's fine to feel protective, and scared. And sick.   
The churning in my lower gut is lapping against the rocks of doubt, and soon, it will all crash onto my lighthouse and I'll be overwhelmed. 

I dread for that day. 

~Now you're thinking like Juliette~ I tell myself with a sly grin. 

I had spent so many hours pouring over her journal as her own words poured over me.   
I had felt alive for the first time in perhaps ten years, only because it was my mother who used to make me feel good about being alive. All the silly games she would make up with me, and her kisses peppering my laughing face and-  
I slam my fist against the wet tile wall. The grout scrapes over my nails, tearing the layers away like an electric sander on a block of chocolate.   
The pain crashes into me a few moments later, and I'm panting hard and leaning my forehead against the side of the shower in defeat. My hand stings sharply, and the soap and water running over the grazed skin doesn't help anyone. 

~I need her. That's it. I do. I really do.~ 

The blood is darker than the bruises on my wrists from thumping them against my desk. Yes, I gave in to my stimming. Delaleiu was there to gently pull my hands away from my head so I didn't give myself permanent brain damage.   
Oh, how I had wished it were Juliette there.   
Oh, how I hate myself.   
My bodily fluids trickle down the grout with the water and the shampoo, pooling at my feet before dissolving quickly and tumbling into the drain beneath my toes. I study the purplish skin on each of my toes, noting that my chilblains have, in fact, come back again. I blame Juliette for my not wearing socks as often as I used to. Not many of the activities we participate in together include footwear.   
I smile wryly.   
I turn the taps off, giving my hair one last scrub to make sure it's free of all lingering condiment. In addition to this, I shake the loose droplets from the ends of my hairs so the water doesn't trickle down my back and make my undershirt stick so every move is scratchy and uncomfortable.   
I'm avoiding something, I remind myself.   
Probably the guilt of what I'm about to do, but it'll work out in the end.   
Juliette will definitely leave me in the middle of the National Park and never look back, but she'll be safe. I'll make sure of that, obviously.   
Because Juliette doesn't give me a reason to live. 

She ~is~ my reason. 

 

JULIETTE --- 

The city is just as dead-looking from the ground as it was from the hill.   
No broken glass, or rats like the ones I shared my cell with for 264 days. Everything is bleak. But the air is definitely wired with something I can't put my finger on. 

"Shit's getting real," Kenji remarks. 

Mieka gives him an unimpressed look. "You already used that noun." 

He grins, "Heck's getting real." 

I snort, and Ed offers me a wink.   
There's no wind. No life. Just us. And this city.   
I can't think of any more to say. 

Luckily, Kenji fills in the silence in my head like a pot of flowers. Dead ones. "So you do ladies just hang around this place, waiting for something to happen?" 

Mieka and Ed exchange an amused look, "Something like that," Ed says. 

"What does that mean?" Lily prompts. 

We continue walking down the paved streets, staring up at massive buildings and stretches of blockish-looking houses. 

My radio clicks. A signal that Delaleiu is alive on the other end. Everyone watches in silence as I un-clip the black box from the pocket at my hip.   
"~Contacting Supreme Commander for coordinates, over~." 

And listening to Warner speak, I notice there are no cracks in the feedback. Not one. 

Lily turns to Ed, the more approachable of the two women, "Perfect signal? But no one's ~around~." 

I hit the button at the top of the radio, speaking into it, "This is Supreme Commander, the message was received. We're not off-grid anymore." I explain, "We're in a city."   
I hear him laugh. A deep, intriguing sound that makes the feedback rumble in agreement. A lovely shiver slips down my back in response. I feel my ears burn when I recall the last time I heard that kind of bass tone. 

Kenji clears his throat. 

"~Good. Are the three soldiers I sent for there?~" 

Lily, Alia, Kenji, and I all look to the two women escorting us. Setting my eyes on them, I count just two. 

"I got two." Kenji scratches his head, "Anyone else seeing the opposite of double?" 

And the reason Kenji's being a bit of an asshole about it is that Warner's plans hardly ever go wrong. 

Ever. 

So this hiccup makes us all suspicious. 

"~Juliette?~" Warner's tone takes on a worried tone. 

Kenji snatches the radio from my hand. I lurch forward, aiming my fist at his face, but he just twirls around and dances away. "Feeling needy, Warner?" He grins. 

"~Kishimoto-~" 

Mieka plants a fist in the man's stomach. The radio drops out of his grasp almost comically, and his eyes bulge in pain. Ed neatly catches the device, then throws it back to me. 

"What . . . the . . . hell." Kenji wines. 

"She looked ready to crush your skull," Ed jerks her head to me. 

"We've heard the stories," Mieka adds. 

"Not stories," Lily snaps. "It's all true." 

I speak back to the radio, leaving everyone to their bickering. "Sorry about that," I say softly. 

"~Is Eduarda there?~" 

"Yes," 

"~And Jaq?~" 

"No- Just Ed and Mieka. I think they mentioned a Jaq, though-" 

"~Are you okay?~" He lowers his voice to mine. The feedback coming through the radio is certainly louder than him, but I can almost imagine what he's saying anyway. 

"Yeah," I promise. "No one's hurt. We're fine." 

I hear the feedback rise loudly, then fall quickly. He's breathing out in relief. "~Ask them to take you to the chambers. You need rest- it's almost morning.~" 

Kenji steps back over to me, but keeps a respectful distance away, "And another thing," he bends down to my level, hands on his bent knees so as to speak into the radio held in my hand. "Why did you send us at night?" 

I jump, "~Us?~" I hiss. "You tagged along for the ride, you stowaway-" 

"~Actually, love,~" Warner sighs. "~I sent him after you. He wanted to help keep you three safe.~" 

"WHAT." 

"~Juliette, please-~" 

I will strangle him. I am going to strangle him, right now.   
I turn to Kenji. He puts up his hands, taking a few steps back. Mieka snickers. Lily and Alia huddle together. The taller of the two girls- Alia, but only just- wraps her arms around the smaller and holds Lily close against her chest. 

I hiss into the radio, "I was supposed to do this myself, remember?" Silence on the other end, "I was supposed to be in control." 

His voice is firm, "~If any of you girls got into trouble, you would be the only one powerful enough to save you all, and that isn't entirely comforting. I sent Kenji to keep an eye on you- not to interfere.~" 

Ed clears her throat. "We should get going." Casts a troubled glance at Alia's face buried into the side of Lily's neck. 

Right, yes. It's almost sunrise.   
I have no idea why we need to get wherever we're going before the sun comes up, but Warner told me it was essential. Maybe he doesn't want us to miss breakfast with the Commander, or something. I know I wouldn't. Personally, I've only ever eaten the food from the asylum, Sector 45 and Omega Point for the last year, and it hasn't been exactly a cultural experience. I'm dying to try something new. Not that Sector 45 doesn't have variety, but everything is just so . . . ~uniform~ there. And looking at this storybook of wonder around me, I doubt that this place will be anything like an American military base. 

Hopefully. 

I have no idea, though. 

"Yes," I agree. "Let's move." I cut away from Warner, and we continue walking. 

 

WARNER---

I'm punching as hard as I can.   
One two one two one two   
Fingers crooked inside my palms and thumbs holding the sides together like brackets in a written statement. My legs are poised a fair distance apart, slightly bent at the knees. My shoulders rock back and forth, back and forth with every movement I make. I feel sweat stinging my eyes. I feel fire flickering up my back. I feel half-dead. 

"Sir," 

I ignore my Second. I change my positions around the punching bag that hangs from the ceiling via a chain. My feet slide over each other until I have my back to Delaleiu, continuing to mutilate the bag. 

"Sir, please-" 

I stop, lowering my aching arms and inwardly wincing at the way my shoulders cramp. "Yes, Delaleiu," 

"Your backup has arrived." He says. I can barely hear him over my heavy breaths. "I've informed them the Supreme-" 

"Do they understand the circumstances?" I cut in. I'm irritated that this has taken so long, but then again, my family was never the merciful type. 

"Somewhat." The man provides weakly. "They wouldn't listen. But they're ready to take over if you are ready to begin . . . ?" 

I finally turn to face my Second. He is in his usual uniform, with his usual watery eyes and usually worried crease in his forehead. I try to remember a time in my life when I didn't know this man's face. It's so strange to focus on, I find myself thinking. It's so strange to ever imagine not knowing this person. Because even if I lost my memory, I have no doubt his face would be more familiar to me than my own. 

I'm starting to feel that way about Juliette, I muse. 

How grand, I sigh. 

Juliette has tried to tell me that I can change, for her. That I can be better. But that would have been impossible because I'd already changed so much. But she just hadn't known, Juliette hadn't been there when I was small and bitter and aching for some kind of love. She hadn't been there like she had told me as Kenji explained to her when I was as dull as a robot and as caring as a garden tool. And being the receiver of my moods and my care, Juliette hadn't known just how much I changed.   
And that's okay.   
We have plenty of time to learn how to know each other. I may hate the thought, but we can't be strangers in love forever. My parents were the example of that. My mother was the kind and lovely daughter of a general, and my father was on his way to military greatness after his father died. It was expected of them to get married. It was expected to be a moderate-enough marriage where a child would be produced. 

But these things did not go to plan. 

My father hated my mother's disability, as well as his weak son who he was grooming to be more of a breathing uniform than a human.   
My father produced three children, and two were a secret.   
Not to mention that his weak son's hero shot him in both his legs, then killed him a few weeks later for good measure.   
There's also the fact that my mother died the week I gained two brothers and a lover,   
But details are messy.   
Details are the fine print no one reads.   
Or that's what Juliette said when she realised she had broken most of the buttons on most of my shirts. Through some very vigorous activities. 

I unwrap the gauze from my fingers, inspecting the bruising damage. "Then it will begin," 

 

JULIETTE---

"Juliette," 

I don't want to open my eyes. I'm trying not to squeeze them shut, but I am squeezing them shut. 

"I know you're faking. Get up," 

Something large and soft hits the back of my head. Sighing, I raise my face from where it was nestled in the woolen blankets. The air is warm from the roaring fireplace on the other side of the room. I wriggle my toes experimentally. They're usually cold in the winter mornings. They feel fine. Normal-temperature. I remember vaguely taking off my boots and socks when I was shown into this large room. The walls are stone, and floors are packed dirt. I do remember thinking that the ground felt strange under my bare feet as I was climbing into this bed. This very big bed. I've never shared one so large by myself. It feels extra-strange without Warner here. 

"You up?" Lily demands. "Ed's waiting." 

I sigh and sit up properly, stretching my arms far behind me to pop the tensing in my back. Swinging my legs out of bed, everything floods back rather quickly.   
We went into the mountains. Or at least somewhere with mountains. I'm not sure.   
I'm proving to be a very lousy Supreme Commander.   
There was a massive entrance near the base of one of the hills, and we entered into a city within itself. People, all similar to Ed and Mieka were milling or marching around. Small children ran in gaggles around Kenji, the girls and I. We were led through the mazes of people and long stone corridors that were painted an impossible amount of colours. So much so that I wasn't even sure they were walls, but perhaps photographs of the sun and sea and sky. 

"You'll get a chance to look at a few corridors when the Supreme takes you on a tour," Ed assured me. 

"Only a few?" I had wondered. "Not all?" 

Mieka and Ed had laughed. "Even we do not know how many places there are to find in Braz." 

That statement blew my mind.   
I was then escorted by four women dressed similarly to Mieka, who guarded me at all four points as they showed me to my room. That "room" turned out to be almost an entire house, just for me. 

"It's typical the Regent didn't come," one of the women had said. Maria, I think her name was. 

"Hmm?" I had muttered distractedly, too busy peeking in the concrete bathroom with a bath larger than Kenji's ego. "Oh- Warner?" I turned to face the women, still waiting for my dismissal. "Wait- he's been here before?"   
Another of the guards had laughed, "Of course he has. He came here four times a year when growing up. These are his chambers," she waved an elegant hand at the space we stood in.   
My heart kicked up at a sudden possibility, "Is he coming?" We had been apart for a mere few hours, but there was a lot of difference between our situations. He was expecting allies from other Sectors to turn up and speak with him, then hopefully with me, as well. 

I missed him. Even though I was still a little pissed about the whole Kenji-scenario. 

"I hope not," Maria said at the same time the other spoken woman said, "I think so," 

"You don't know?" Maria had prodded. 

I shrug. "I don't think he is, but Warner isn't known for his loyalty to keep out of the drama." 

They had all laughed.   
I was then allowed to go and check on the girls, who were sharing the room down the hall from me, and Kenji, who was down the next flight of stone steps in a modest ensuite. I recalled how Warner explained the locals didn't see men nearly as highly women, and mentally stopped the bite of inequality against Kenji's quarters compared with mine, and Lily and Alia's.   
"~Don't underestimate the locals,~" as Kenji had rightly said.   
And then, I had slept. 

***

I'm dressed in a brilliantly red tunic, leather pants, and a thick, long great coat the colour of an anemic hit with a piano. So blue it's almost black. And I'm wondering about a particular set of blue eyes this coat reminds me of. And I'm wondering if he and James are okay being stuck on the ship with a moody Warner and a lot of soldiers. Probably, soldiers, he knew personally when he worked as Warner's right-hand man. I'm wondering if Castle is okay and if the Girls are spending too much time with him like they usually do with their patients. They have a habit of over-working, and it usually left them exhausted. I'm wondering if Brendan and Winston are working on another project together, or just sitting around drinking horrible coffee and taking the mickey out of Warner. 

I'm wondering if anyone else is sick. 

"Supreme Ferrars," an unfamiliar voice announces. 

I jerk my head up out of my daydreams and find myself looking at probably the most beautiful woman I have seen in my entire life. Her whole body is made of solid, slender muscle. Dark long legs show from under a dripping blood-red skirt of the same material of my tunic. She wears no more jewelry than Mieka or any other woman I have seen around, but almost all of her gorgeous chocolate skin is covered with whorls and spikes and shards of that tattoo gold all the women seem to have. Her hair is in a bushy and coiled afro around her slender face and down half her back. Threads and beads and scraps of a material sweep through the dark curly mass, providing more colour and light than the sudden sun in a dark room. Her feet are bare, except for the gold tattoos poking her toes and ankles. Her arms are long and muscular and lovely, especially as she holds her left hand out for me.   
Dumbly, I make to shake her hand, but she instead bends over our connected grasp and presses her full lips against the back of my hand. She does the same to my other, as well. Achingly dark eyes meet mine, and I'm not entirely sure where my loyalties lie anymore.   
I find myself more angry with Warner than I have ever been. Why didn't he let me meet her before this? Why did he ever think I was going to rely so much on him? How come he takes me for some weak child- 

D'Maha holds up a hand, "Stop." 

My thoughts cease. 

The Supreme Commander of South America gives a stern look to someone behind me. A man steps into my peripheral. He is tall- maybe the same height as Warner- with closely shaved black hair, lean features, and very green eyes. He gives me a sly smile. He wears a simple black tunic, and thick, dark pants. A bandolier of blue leather is stretched over his long torso, containing tiny vials of plants and powders and liquids all marching down his chest in individual pockets in a single line. 

"This is my son, unfortunately," D'Maha explains. The man doesn't look upset- or the mildest part offended. Instead, offers a generous bow to me. He doesn't make any move to touch me like his mother did, however. She continues, "Jaq." She says his name like 'shark'. 

I wait for him to say the usual things, like "You must be the Supreme" or "And unfortunately, this is my mother,". 

Jaq says nothing. He just looks delightfully content to be here. In this very normal-looking meeting room with a dark wood table, an entire wall made of glass looking onto the bleak city in the distance, and soft hand-knitted carpet. 

So I say, "I'm honoured to meet you both." 

"I'm sure you weren't too traumatised by Mieka, "The Supreme offers an ironic grin, "She can be a little bitter. She doesn't take kindly to people who buy the toy she has always wanted." 

"Uh," I have no idea what she's trying to hint at, but I just smile instead. "Yes." 

The Supreme laughs. The gold in her cheeks crease and scrunch together to create newer patterns. "I'm sure you have been dying for a tour. Why don't we collect your companions and Jaq and I will show you all around?" 

"That sounds amazing," I agree. I give one last confused look to Jaq, then allow D'Maha to usher me out into the hall. "But- Commander-" 

"Kalyca." The Supreme corrects firmly, "That is my name, and everyone should address me respectfully with it," 

"Of course, sorry," 

She just smiles and nods at me to continue. We begin walking toward the warm main hall where Kenji, Alia, and Lily are sitting with the intimidating warriors of death. Otherwise known as couraça, meaning any type of armour made of leather- especially breastplates. "We like our Portuguese words here," Maria had explained mildly. 

My boots make no sound on the concrete floor as we walk over to my "companions". 

Kalyca speaks without looking away from where she watches the girls and Kenji mildly talking, "You were saying?" 

I lick my lips tentatively, "What's the point of Warner sending us here if you're already willing to listen? You knew we were coming." 

"True," she smirks at me, long arms swinging calmly at her sides. For every two steps she takes, I have to take three and a half. I'm trying not to show how uneven my breathing is from trying to keep up. "Personally, I would say that he's afraid." 

"Afraid?" I repeat. Alia, Lily, and Kenji come into hearing distance and I can practically hear Kenji's curiosity perk up in interest. "Of what? Coming back?" 

"Yes." Kalyca shrugs when I go to ask more, "Mieka made some . . . advances that caused him to be extremely wary whenever he came into Braz again." 

"What?" I try to imagine Warner uncomfortable around someone as moody as Mieka, and I want to laugh. ~That's~ the reason she hates me. "She hit on him?" 

"No, there was no violence involved- I think," And the way Kalyca's eyes crinkle in mirth makes me not entirely sure if she's being serious or not. Warner is not a violent person, though I wouldn't put it past Mieka to throw a punch. I'm surprised that Kenji still has all his teeth, actually. "But yes, Mieka did have a serious soft spot for the boy. I caught her out of bed in the middle of the night to see him a lot." 

"Did he know?" 

"Of course- but Warner is never one to ruin drama." 

Now, where have I heard that before?

**Author's Note:**

> So this chapter is pretty cute I wanted to start on the lighter side before I ran you over with my Train O' Feels, maybe put the spotlight on Warner's Mother Hen side and Kenji's Soccer Mom and Juliette is just the smol bean who needs to calm her ass down anyway


End file.
